The Importance Of “Letting Go” To Allow Others The Freedom To Make Their Own Choices In Life

By Jennifer Miller

Life is for many of us a journey that involves “letting go”, releasing harmful or negative things, desires, thoughts, visions, and people. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali describe this state of “non-attachment” as follows:

When the mind loses desire even for objects seen or described in a tradition or in scriptures, it acquires a state of utter (vashikara) desirelessness that is called non-attachment (vairagya).

The path to “utter desirelessness” or non-attachment is combined with asana practice to make up the core principles of yoga. But letting go has also been important to me as I have moved through challenging times in my life. Quieting my mind allows me to rise above drama and negative issues during my day, like an impartial witness floating above the scene in a movie.

This is increasingly important as a mother raising children during their teen years. It is only natural to want to teach them about life, to save them from making mistakes or experiencing failures. By practice the art of letting go, I know that they are on their own personal journey and have the freedom to make choices that enhance their life or not. I will not take their “negative” choices personally. It is their life and I cannot expect to control what is clearly their own free will.

Freedom and peace has filled my soul when only a few years ago I agonized and could be paralyzed with pain. And it will remain a process for me, a practice devoted to letting go. By giving others the freedom make their own decisions without judgment or emotion, I have increased my sense of inner peace and freedom as well.

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

Reflections On My Daughter: “Finding Answers All Around Us…Just Blowin In The Wind”

By Jennifer Miller

Oh, to be sixteen, now that summer’s here. And so I hop into the passenger’s seat of my daughter’s car to go bathing suit shopping. She is wearing bright pink lipstick and shorts to show off legs that are long and tan. Clearly, she is in the prime of teenhood, with her mood brightened in these final sophomore days of high school.

“If ya dont know by know, doggy-dog is a freak,freak,freak!”

Rapper Snoop Dogg’s latest song blasts out from the speakers as the she starts the car. The lyrics are offensive and crude, but her car is her domain.

“I keep a bad bitch with me seven days of the week, week, week!”

Welcome to a modern mother’s world. I take a deep breath as she glances at me with a huge grin, looking me over to see my reaction. But the windows are down, and our hair is “blowin in the wind” (a little Peter, Paul and Mary to balance Snoop). I smile with complete acceptance. The teen years are always trying, but they can also be fun.

She has always followed her soul and has now embraced her inner goddess. I am grateful that she doesn’t seem to care what others think. She has been through a lot in her young years, and has the gift of wisdom that only a full life can bring. I haven’t had to make too many demands of my youngest daughter recently, but getting a job this summer is a must.

She knows this and hasn’t commented on her progress. I already know the answer if I asked: “It’s not summer yet”.

The bikini and beachwear selection proves very enticing and she is pleased; so is mom. As we are checking out, she spots the store manager and without hesitating, asks her: “Are you hiring?” The answer is “Yes” and my daughter goes into action mode. With a huge smile, she holds out her hand and introduces herself and takes control of the interview.

The power of confidence is really the power of being in the moment. The woman saw an authentic display of enthusiasm and interest in being “at that store”.  This is my independent free spirit, brimming with inner wisdom, openness, and a natural sense of being balanced and grounded.

I pray she continues to use her natural abilities to find the answers to life’s questions, answers which are always there, all around us, and within our soul when we take the time to go inward and self-reflect. 

With employment application in hand, we are back in her car and her domain. As we head home, the windows down, I imagine how appropriate Bob Dylan’s lyrics would be if we could change just two words:

“How many roads must a WOMAN walk down, before you call HER a WOMAN.

The answer, my friend,
is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.”

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

 

A Poem For My Mother: “If Only You Knew The Things I Could Say…” By Savannah Robison

“I love you with my heart…”

Mom, 

If only you knew the things I could say,

Painting a picture of my love is a task I will slay.

 

I’ll start with the little things, for they happen so much,

A kiss on the cheek, a slap on the butt.

 

You have that special touch whether in food or in love,

But really all I need is something to be proud of.

 

You stand tall regardless of impending hardship,

You have taught me so much, like getting my grip.

 

Your beautiful blue eyes or your abs of steel,

I give you my body, and I get yours, deal?

 

Our fights are often, and we know how to punch,

But what people don’t know is what happens at brunch.

 

I guess all I can say is thank you, Mom;

I love you with my heart, you are the bomb.

 

Savannah Robison

Reflections On Mother’s Day: “Trusting Our Instincts To Be The Best Mother” By Jennifer Miller

As a young mother at 25, I remember being so innocent and in love. There were really no thoughts about the future; I lived seemingly “breath to breath”. 

I trusted my instincts to be the best mother and it came naturally to me.

From the moment I placed my firstborn child at my breast, I felt I was born to be a mother. I loved all four bundles of joy with all my heart and soul. And as each grew older, I grew with them, changing moment to moment to accommodate their growing needs.

There is a fine line in nurturing our children: do we allow them to fall and grow from the experience or do we constantly watch over them and step in before mishaps. I chose to let them learn and not be rescued. 

I let them open their wings to fly and become independent freethinkers.

And my children are all very independent freethinkers. I feel such love and pride when I think of our journey together. But I am also thankful of the gift they gave to me: to be their mother. I sometimes wish that all the pain and hardship could have been avoided. But I see the strength of character and courage that only life can place in your soul.

I stand as a proud witness, watching them grow into young adults. They are the fruit of a mother’s labor. Although they cannot completely see or feel it yet, I know one day they will return love to me in kind.

I have learned to honor myself as a mother; when I am in my power and take care of me, my light shines brighter.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Namaste, Jennifer Miller

Quotes For Mothers: “Making The Decision To Have A Child – It’s Momentous…”

“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.”

Elizabeth Stone